Excerpt from ‘What Is Your Perfect Life?’ essay in ‘Be The Orca: A Menopause Manifesto’:
“Over the last five years I have really had to consider the question, what
does my perfect life look like? When the life I thought I was having changed
suddenly at age 49, I really had to ask myself as I turned 50, what does my
perfect life look like now??? What do I want out of this 4th quarter?
When I thought about it, I realized my life is really amazing. Sure, I’ve had
a hard time financially, but I’ve stayed positive, and I know it’s not going
to last forever. Yes, my divorce was shockingly contentious. Today, I feel
pity for the person who needs to be so cruel after nearly a quarter century
together.
I’ve tried to imagine someplace I would rather live, but I live in an adorable
little cottage, with great neighbors. I worked hard to get this place and to
hold onto it. I’ve been here for more than six years now, the second longest
home of my adult life. I really like it here. I think even if I was a millionaire,
I’d still want to live here. Sure, I see the pretty houses on the upper crust
side of town. I’m okay with where I am at. I’d make a few improvements, my little cottage does need some big repairs – but this place is pretty
perfect for me.
I’ve also reconsidered what a good relationship is. I’ve cultivated some
amazing friendships, some of the best in my life. I have had a handful of
romantic relationships these last five years, some were great and some not
so great, but all romances have challenges. My goals are so different now
than when I was 25. I am not looking for the same kind of relationships I
was then. I’m done with the charade of forever. I’m still figuring out what I
am looking for on that front. We all want to feel loved, but in what manner
is individual for each of us, and even that is ever changing.”
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